Father’s Day is this weekend! I made a few Printable Fathers Day Quotes to share with you (feel free to print these in an 8×10) AND below the quotes, I included some of Stud’s favorite jokes. Nothing melts my hubby’s hearts more then jokes told by his sweeties! I don’t know if you have a sappy or silly card lovin’ man so we have both shared below! Enjoy! I hope you have a fabulous weekend celebrating the special guy in your life! If you’re looking for Fathers Day Photo Ideas or Fathers Day Craft Ideas, I’ve added the links for you.
My Daddy is a Fun-Gi!
Kid: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad
some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Kid’s Friend: Was he mad?
Kid: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!
Dad: Sweetie, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Daughter: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Do fathers always snore?
No – only when they are asleep!
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
Father: Let me see your report card.
Son: I don’t have it.
Father: Why not?
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
Son: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Friend: Really? I bet they don’t fit.
“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.
After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!
A cheetah and a lion are racing. The cheetah wins. But the lion says to the cheetah,
“You’re a cheetah!”. The cheetah says, “Nah, you lion!”
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
“Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?”
“But I’ve given you 10 glasses of water already!” “Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!”
After the church service a little boy told the pastor,
“When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”
“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”
“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
Son: Dad, can I go to the bathroom
Dad: Son, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Son: But I asked first!
Five-year-old son was in the bath tub, and his dad was washing his hair.
He said to him, “Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again.”
Son replied, “Maybe you should stop watering it so much.”
A 16-year-old boy, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly,
he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for dad.
After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to
find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one,
he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to his father.
Upon opening it, Dad read the message: “You’ve been like a father to me.”
He looked at his son, puzzled.
“Well, Dad, It was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!'”
Teacher: Did you father helped you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around
the table eating supper. The little girl said, “Daddy, you’re the boss, aren’t you?”
Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued
“That’s because Mommy put you in charge, right?”